Christmas can be an emotive and stressful time for many families. One group that faces stress and strain during the festive period are separated and unmarried fathers.

As usual at this time of year, Amen is inundated with phone calls from fathers who are being denied access to their children. Many clients of Amen have had to leave the family home, due to abuse that they have suffered at the hands of their wives or partners.

One father who contacted us said "I know my children want to spend time with both of us at Christmas but I fear that, like last Christmas, I will not be seeing them over the holidays. It is not just me but also their grandparents, aunts and uncles who will miss them at Christmas. I will not be able to give them their presents until mid-January as, if I post them I fear they will not be given to the children. This has happened in the past."

Another father said: "I do not know if I'll get to see my boys for Christmas. The thought of this is so soul-piercing I really do not have words to describe the pain. It is impossible to contemplate what the boys may think and what affect it will have on them, so I try not to. I am lucky to have a wonderful family and supportive friends and neighbours, without whom I would be lost."

Many fathers are now dreading spending Christmas without their children. They feel lonely, frightened, isolated and helpless. Mothers who use their custodial status to punish their former partners in this way should stop and think about the damage they are also doing to their children.

Many people do not believe that men can be victims of domestic abuse. It can be very difficult for a man to come forward and admit that he is a victim of domestic abuse. In 2005 the National Crime Council found that 26% of men suffer domestic abuse but only 1 in 20 men reported this abuse to the Gardaí.

Amen's services include:

• A confidential helpline and a support service for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Information on legal and other remedies available to abused men.
• Support group meetings.
• Court accompaniment.

A new session of support group meetings will be starting in January and if you would like to attend please contact the Amen office for further details.

Amen is here to help stamp out the stigma that is attached to being a male victim of domestic violence.